Game Changer

  • By Compassion Coaching
  • 24 Jul, 2017

Game Changer

Today, my baby son Matthew turns 1 year old. To give some  context about what this means for me, my daughter Caitlin turns 19 years old in just over a month. This makes me an 'older' Dad, and I went into the decision to become a father again with great care and consideration. I considered age, and went: "You know what, I am only as old as I choose to allow myself to be."

A couple of years ago when I decided I wanted to learn to dance, I found an amazing dance teacher. When she taught me to dance, she was 96 years of age. This year she turns 100, and to my knowledge she is still teaching people to dance. I remember after one of our lessons sitting down for a chat, wanting to find out about her, and what made her tick. She loved dancing! She had been dancing since before she hit 10 years of age. Imagine that, 90 years of experience in dancing. For context for me, she had been dancing for longer that what my own venerable father has been alive. Remarkable! 

Coming away from my experience of meeting, learning, and sharing with her, I became very conscious of how often people used age as an excuse. I'm too old to do it. Too old to change. Too set in my ways. What a load!

How often do we use age as an excuse? A consideration for certain decisions, certainly, but when age is used as an excuse to not pursue the things that we are passionate and really care about, then it is a problem. 

With my beautiful, amazing little son, I am both teacher, and student. I have walked this personal development journey for about 10 years now, when my middle child, Alexander, was around 4. I have since learned so much about myself, so much about the deep recesses of the human soul, the impact on power of our upbringing, and how it can subconsciously define who we are, and the decisions that we make. I know so much more, but I am also learning, seeing the world so much more from his perspective.

I know that everything we do, everything we say, he is like a sponge making sense of it all, making his own meaning of what the world around him delivers to him. I have seen how easy it is to try and control our children, so that we don't have to face our own stuff, our own dyfunctionality, our own shame.  

It means I have to grow more, change more, own more, face more, be more of who I am to truly be a role-model to my son. 

For me, Matthew is truly a Game Changer. 

Compassion Coaching Corner

By Compassion Coaching 31 Jul, 2017

Hello!

I would like to introduce myself – I am Tina Stewart. I am wife to Paul, mother to Matthew, step-mother to Caitlin and Alexander, daughter to Ngaire and Donald, sister to Jeremy, behind the scenes accounts and admin person for Compassion Coaching, friend to many and recently I was made redundant from my Oil and Gas position. Beyond all these positions I play in life, I am a woman in pursuit of my IDEAL LIFE.

What is an IDEAL LIFE? It is the life that you carefully select and create that is the ideal fit for you and only you. It is about getting crystal clear on what is important to you, what fulfills you, what gets you excited to wake up each morning and what brings you the greatest satisfaction in life.

My IDEAL LIFE is creating the financial platform to support my family and me to be able to spend as much time as possible with my little son before he gets to school age. It is working part time for the moment to allow for work and life to balance out. It is having a creative outlet to explore and play with my creative talents (which have been hidden for way too long). It is working numbers and creating strategies to grow our business. It is finding ways to support people to grow themselves. It is creating the space to have Tina time in order to keep on developing new skills and new dreams and having time to stop and be.

So with all this in mind, finding out that I was being made redundant from my Oil and Gas role the other week – well instead of being devastated, feeling like it was the end of the world, feeling like I was somehow to blame, or that I wasn’t good enough, or worthy enough to stay. I feel like my redundancy was a beautiful GIFT. It is a gift of new opportunities, it is a gift of giving me some financial breathing space to develop that financial platform in which to spend more time with my family. It is the gift and nudge to push me into working for our business in a greater capacity.

As such, in pursuit of my IDEAL LIFE I wish to celebrate my new role within Compassion Coaching as I will now also be leading our social media, online courses, event management aspects and will be looking at doing one-on-one coaching too.

I am excited about this new path and direction and the ability to pursue my IDEAL LIFE.

What does your IDEAL LIFE look like, I would love to know, share in the comments below.


BTW: The picture above is one I took immediately after I was made redundant as Matthew and I went for a walk along the water and played at the playground - not a bad way to start a redundancy and to pursue my ideal life, eh...?

By Compassion Coaching 24 Jul, 2017
Today, my baby son Matthew turns 1 year old. To give some  context about what this means for me, my daughter Caitlin turns 19 years old in just over a month. This makes me an 'older' Dad, and I went into the decision to become a father again with great care and consideration. I considered age, and went: "You know what, I am only as old as I choose to allow myself to be."

A couple of years ago when I decided I wanted to learn to dance, I found an amazing dance teacher. When she taught me to dance, she was 96 years of age. This year she turns 100, and to my knowledge she is still teaching people to dance. I remember after one of our lessons sitting down for a chat, wanting to find out about her, and what made her tick. She loved dancing! She had been dancing since before she hit 10 years of age. Imagine that, 90 years of experience in dancing. For context for me, she had been dancing for longer that what my own venerable father has been alive. Remarkable! 

Coming away from my experience of meeting, learning, and sharing with her, I became very conscious of how often people used age as an excuse. I'm too old to do it. Too old to change. Too set in my ways. What a load!

How often do we use age as an excuse? A consideration for certain decisions, certainly, but when age is used as an excuse to not pursue the things that we are passionate and really care about, then it is a problem. 

With my beautiful, amazing little son, I am both teacher, and student. I have walked this personal development journey for about 10 years now, when my middle child, Alexander, was around 4. I have since learned so much about myself, so much about the deep recesses of the human soul, the impact on power of our upbringing, and how it can subconsciously define who we are, and the decisions that we make. I know so much more, but I am also learning, seeing the world so much more from his perspective.

I know that everything we do, everything we say, he is like a sponge making sense of it all, making his own meaning of what the world around him delivers to him. I have seen how easy it is to try and control our children, so that we don't have to face our own stuff, our own dyfunctionality, our own shame.  

It means I have to grow more, change more, own more, face more, be more of who I am to truly be a role-model to my son. 

For me, Matthew is truly a Game Changer. 
By Compassion Coaching 19 Jul, 2017

Change is inevitable. If there is one thing you can count on in this life, and in this world it is change. It affects every aspect of our lives. We can either fight it, surrender to it, or work with it. Or perhaps even make change work for us.

With change brings renewal. The ability to transform ourselves, and to reinvent yourself. In the process of reinventing yourself you may have to face the old parts of yourself, the parts of yourself that aren’t working.

Working out what is not working for you is fairly easy, once you know how. It starts by asking this question: “What do I want?”

Think about it. The things that you want are the things that you want, because you don’t have them yet. If you did, you probably wouldn’t focus on wanting them.

Once you have established what you want, you then must look at what are the things that are blocking you from getting what you want. This is where things can get tricky, because so many people like to blame their circumstances on the events of life, or their circumstances, or their own failings or frailties.

In this blame we actually have a key. If our blame is a reflection of our shame, what is our shame? That is; what is our personal take on how we feel about the things about us that we don’t like.

This is where people can get really knotted up. The solution is to learn to express our shame. To express the parts that we don’t like about ourselves. To admit our mistakes. To share our darker thoughts. To express our vulnerability. Rather than have to wear a mask of who we believe that we have to be in order to be accepted and even loved by others. And in doing so, not be our real authentic selves.

Thus, if we cannot express our shame, then we have to stay stuck in the old situation. In order to not then be exposed, we then have to recruit circumstances, problems, situations, obstacles, and events which prevent us from having what we want.

Imagine that. We actually recruit our own sabotage. We stay stuck in order to protect ourselves.

What we then actually bring to the party is our attitude. It might be true that there are some events in our lives that we are powerless to change. Loved ones dying for example. Like change, death is inevitable. How we approach death, or tragedy, or loss, or change, or even windfalls, fortune, opportunities, or even love… will determine the impact of it in our lives.

The invitation then is for the death of the old self, the death of the old way of being, the death of the old beliefs that no longer serve us for the new way forward in our lives.

I am facing such a time within myself. There is so much going on in my life right now, so much activity and change that is shaking up who I thought I was or could be. And as I look into the future for what I want and who I want to be, I realise that I must embrace massive renewal. I must rebirth myself from old beliefs, old habits, old self-sabotages to create something even greater.

Beyond Death lies Rebirth.

Welcome to my declaration of change. Imagine the possibilities.....
Share by: