Game Changer
- By Compassion Coaching
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- 24 Jul, 2017
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Game Changer
Today, my baby son Matthew turns 1 year old. To give some context about what this means for me, my daughter Caitlin turns 19 years old in just over a month. This makes me an 'older' Dad, and I went into the decision to become a father again with great care and consideration. I considered age, and went: "You know what, I am only as old as I choose to allow myself to be."
A couple of years ago when I decided I wanted to learn to dance, I found an amazing dance teacher. When she taught me to dance, she was 96 years of age. This year she turns 100, and to my knowledge she is still teaching people to dance. I remember after one of our lessons sitting down for a chat, wanting to find out about her, and what made her tick. She loved dancing! She had been dancing since before she hit 10 years of age. Imagine that, 90 years of experience in dancing. For context for me, she had been dancing for longer that what my own venerable father has been alive. Remarkable!
Coming away from my experience of meeting, learning, and sharing with her, I became very conscious of how often people used age as an excuse. I'm too old to do it. Too old to change. Too set in my ways. What a load!
How often do we use age as an excuse? A consideration for certain decisions, certainly, but when age is used as an excuse to not pursue the things that we are passionate and really care about, then it is a problem.
With my beautiful, amazing little son, I am both teacher, and student. I have walked this personal development journey for about 10 years now, when my middle child, Alexander, was around 4. I have since learned so much about myself, so much about the deep recesses of the human soul, the impact on power of our upbringing, and how it can subconsciously define who we are, and the decisions that we make. I know so much more, but I am also learning, seeing the world so much more from his perspective.
I know that everything we do, everything we say, he is like a sponge making sense of it all, making his own meaning of what the world around him delivers to him. I have seen how easy it is to try and control our children, so that we don't have to face our own stuff, our own dyfunctionality, our own shame.
It means I have to grow more, change more, own more, face more, be more of who I am to truly be a role-model to my son.
For me, Matthew is truly a Game Changer.
A couple of years ago when I decided I wanted to learn to dance, I found an amazing dance teacher. When she taught me to dance, she was 96 years of age. This year she turns 100, and to my knowledge she is still teaching people to dance. I remember after one of our lessons sitting down for a chat, wanting to find out about her, and what made her tick. She loved dancing! She had been dancing since before she hit 10 years of age. Imagine that, 90 years of experience in dancing. For context for me, she had been dancing for longer that what my own venerable father has been alive. Remarkable!
Coming away from my experience of meeting, learning, and sharing with her, I became very conscious of how often people used age as an excuse. I'm too old to do it. Too old to change. Too set in my ways. What a load!
How often do we use age as an excuse? A consideration for certain decisions, certainly, but when age is used as an excuse to not pursue the things that we are passionate and really care about, then it is a problem.
With my beautiful, amazing little son, I am both teacher, and student. I have walked this personal development journey for about 10 years now, when my middle child, Alexander, was around 4. I have since learned so much about myself, so much about the deep recesses of the human soul, the impact on power of our upbringing, and how it can subconsciously define who we are, and the decisions that we make. I know so much more, but I am also learning, seeing the world so much more from his perspective.
I know that everything we do, everything we say, he is like a sponge making sense of it all, making his own meaning of what the world around him delivers to him. I have seen how easy it is to try and control our children, so that we don't have to face our own stuff, our own dyfunctionality, our own shame.
It means I have to grow more, change more, own more, face more, be more of who I am to truly be a role-model to my son.
For me, Matthew is truly a Game Changer.
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Those of you who know me (Paul), know that I would hardly be described as a Green Thumb. Yet with the establishment of Kingsbury House and the achievements we have made there, I have taken to planting.
Most people are intelligent. In terms of being able to look at information and make logical decisions, most people are very adept at doing this. However, it is important to realise that we don’t make decisions consciously. We make decisions based on our subconscious or our unconscious. And we make our decisions in order to feel a certain way, or at least to avoid feeling a certain way.
By changing our perspective we are opening ourselves up to new opportunities and possiblities.
Sometimes it seems like this starts to define us as human beings. We get so stuck in situations, holding on, not wanting to let go, even when it gets painful. Even when it hurt us. Even though it can feel like we are stuck in hell. At least hell is more comfortable than risking stepping into the unknown. In our own
minds we believe that this will really hurt us. Regardless of whatever the reality might be.
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